My Peripa

Let me tell you something about my Uncle I treasure as a human being.

He is in a critical state, lying in the hospital bed, opposite to the characteristics he usually possesses.

He was always an active man – he had the smile that would make you believe things were supposed to be happy. He had the temper and discipline that made you not stray. He had the warmth that you look forward to in a friend. He had the patience and love that made him the best husband any woman could ever have. He was an exceptional father to the kids and loved them to bits. Above all, he was a great person – he loved life, he had vast knowledge, umpteen memories, many acts of kindness, he was exemplary of being there for his loved ones. 

He was full of laughter and fun – every time I think of the happiest memory with him, I think of the loud song he used to sing waking me up when I stayed at Singapore with my cousins, aunt and him. And the jokes – he cracked me up with his jokes though sometimes I used to call him the PJ master for the Poor Jokes. He loved history, literature, sports, finance, everything! I can’t think of a topic that didn’t interest him or that he didn’t know about. He was outstanding.

He loved his work way too much at his age. I wish he didn’t … I regret that I had been stronger with my talks to him that he should get home sooner after work and take care of his health and stress levels. I wish I did … maybe that would have saved him from that horrid night that led him to this state.

Today he is lying down with no response to life basing his life on machines that give some hope, while we cry torn with this state of seeing him suffer and to have to make the hardest decision that will ever be.

Many miles away from Singapore, in India, I have been crying for many hours now, reliving every memory of him in my life, and worrying the struggle my dear cousins and aunt are going through since last ten days.

I have talked aloud to him in my empty room begging him to wake up now, hoping for one miraculous moment to happen , praying to God to give him 1 millionth of his usual energy to just be alive again …

This is not how we wanted you take off and relax Peripa … Please breathe again, don’t leave us like this. Give us a chance to take care of you. Come back home. I miss your facebook updates, I miss your silly PJs, I miss your warmth and laughter, I miss you more than ever.

My requests to Peripa continue to be asked – ‘please wake up’ ..

My prayers and love go on for my Aunt and cousins – who have been way too strong till now. I love you guys, and you mean a lot more to me than you will ever know.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

-        Anonymous

With desperate prayers to not have to let you go,
With much Love.

Two days later, on Monday, the 4th of December 2013, Peripa passed away. He will be remembered for the amazing person that he was, and for us - the family, things will never be the same again without him... I love you Peripa ...

The 'Do not Litter' Preach

I contribute to a cleaner environment by calling out to friends/strangers who litter on roads/buses and condemn them. These are mostly 'educated' people. Every time I get out, there is at least once I end up doing this. Some people answer in arrogance and my argument with them is bitter; some answer in shame and hesitate to accept their mistake and I tell them nicely to remember to be aware and not do this from next time and they don't deny, the conversation ends pleasant. Either way leaves me with a sense of accomplishment because it matters. We need this. We need people to be wary of the aftermath that's created by what seems like a trivial unruly behavior. What's sad is that a large part of even younger generation exposed to the way the rest of the world works does not realize the significance. What started for me years ago as a conscious effort to help people litter less , is now an imbibed behavior. Even the thought of throwing a small piece of paper on roads or pavements makes me guilty.

                                         My friend, do You litter ???

If you resonate with my thoughts on importance of a litter free country, please spread the awareness, assume responsibility and encourage people to use dustbins, suggest them to save the trash in hand or a bag pocket until they find a dustbin. If possible, find a dustbin in front of them and throw out the paper they threw if they don't correct their act. Change starts with us. Practice and preach is the need of the hour.  
Let's not be a part of what largely describes Indians today:

Words for losses

These are some words from an old article i wrote that I believe help in soothing the pain at times of loss - 'Things that you love are not always the things that stay with you forever. But they are those that remind you of good times, a hope for living, and the cheer of life. They let you know that you've been lucky to have them, experience them and make them a part of your life. As much as it’s hard it makes us peaceful to try to live with the memories in all its positivity’s and move on. After all, the Joy of Life is in looking forward to happier days, lovelier moments.'

When we are faced with horrid situations like deaths of loved ones, we have only two things to choose to do further on ... one is to be doomed and spoil our peace, and spread that negativity to everything and everyone around, breaking our life's prior goals OR to accept the bad that happened and feel unfair - we are human and i can imagine how hard it must be - but still try to work on other things that will make peace for us and the rest of our loved ones and help us move on. This act doesn't make us cold-hearted but the sadness and strength we grow within to overcome the pain makes us warm, considerate and stronger.

   There is no loss like the loss of loved ones and that's the lesson and purpose from such a situation. You need to re purpose your life at such tough situations. Realize the significance of your dear ones, and work for the rest of such dear ones in your life. Pray for the soul to rest in peace and live for their wishes. What would they like for you to do? Would they want to see you happy? Live to live the life they would have loved to. That's the best tribute you can pay. Harder said than done, but its important for you to gather the strength.

 I pray for all of you in such hard times and wish you the best to move on strong.

A poem - http://thethoughtsofthestar.blogspot.in/2013/10/pray-for-bereaved_18.html

Pray for the bereaved

The demise of an unknown soul
Makes me cry for days so many
A young heart with dreams and desires
Plucked out of life, suddenly with no closure
My thoughts go out to the friends and family
And my talks go on to the supposed almighty
My belief and hope tend to fluctuate rapidly
I gather myself and remember there is only one way to harmony.
So I decide to pray
For more than light from a single ray
I pray for peace and
A world with no disease
I pray to whoever is the Lord;
I pray very hard.
For I want to believe -
When the sun rises
And the birds are flying -
There is no one in the world, bereaved and crying.

-Shwetha

With time?

Worries they say, fall with time.

But what if they grow sharper like the spikes in a porcupine?

Prayers they say, make everything fine.

But what if god never heard me ring the chime?

Hurt they say heals with soothing words. 

But what if there's no one to hear my outbursts?

Pains they say alleviate with every passing day. 

But what if I don't ever find the right way?

Trying times they say are close to change. 

But what if it’s all, for bad karma that we are paying?

- Shwetha

If these words makes you think 'what a killjoy', I'll remind you again I am a believer of Hope. There is no light without darkness. And there is no enlightment without confusion. Feelings like above that crop up within us are the reason why I wrote this article: www.thethoughtsofthestar.blogspot.in/2013/09/overcome-that-you-can-overcome.html

One learns to be an optimist, only when he has had the chance to be a pessimist but fights, isn't it? 

Overcome that you can Overcome

Sometimes the hardest thing is, not to feel hopeful when you are feeling low; but to not condemn yourself for feeling that hopeful.

We doubt what's wrong with us for not feeling bad; for not feeling guilty when things go wrong; wonder why aren't there tears …  I think most of us are ‘addicted’ to self-pity and find it comforting to tell ourselves 'why is this is happening to me'. So even though good books read to us that we have the power to outcome fears, even though beautifully written songs inspire us to become hopeful, when it actually comes down to feeling positive, hopeful and strong in a situation, a part of us wonders if we've become cold. A scare creeps in if we are being ignorant by not wallowing in the problem. We push ourselves to be sad again because even though we can be strong, we wonder if we are being emotionless.

This is where we need more learning. There is only our own self who can permit happiness within. You have to allow yourself to be strong before you can become strong. You have to let yourself stay positive even though it’s easy to be torn. You have to let yourself be happy even though there is sadness within. You have to let yourself portray happiness in the world even though thoughts may haunt of the world around judging you for being happy when things are down under. You have to do this for YOUR peace of mind; because, Happiness is not a crime; because sadness is not forever; because happiness is a state of mind - not complete absence of sadness; because you can overcome sadness with happiness. And for that to last, you have to ‘overcome that you can overcome your deepest fears’.

- To happiness and peace,

The few in your Life

There are few people in your life;
Who will support through all that you strive.
They won't laugh when you fall. Instead,
They smile and lift you up tall.
They make your trials seem worthy
And guide you how finer you can be.
Critical may be their suggestions
But they only have the right intentions.
The day you win and the world celebrates,
They will rejoice with a silent embrace.

-Shwetha

Happily Ever After - Is it overrated or do we understand it wrong?

Today I read a thought provoking article... 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2385475/Dina-Goldsteins-Fallen-Princesses-shows-Disneys-Snow-White-Cinderella-unhappily-after.html


'Happily ever after' as in fairy tales is debatable in real life. You can Hope , but you need to be realistic about what you truly need, to be happy in life. 'Cuz what you thought at your teens is going to be the life ahead, may not be the life you later live, but you get led on to new experiences involving unexpected failures and worked hard for successes. You mature naturally to learn to appreciate them. But some may not - my sincere hope for them is to realize this and live life as it comes. This article may help in the realization.

Rain down upon me …

The rain draws a magic

That can't be explained with any logic

As I watch from inside the bus,

The flow of rain water on the large windows,

I find my heart sinking,

Or is it a deep breath that comes prior to a relieving sigh?

I find solace, from a sadness that I wasn't aware existed within me.

A reassuring thought strikes that

the simple joys are the ones that put on a real smile.

But what was I worrying about? I just can’t compile.

That’s the charm of the rain

Just as wondrous, time and again.

The splashes from a walk on a path that’s not drained,

The sprinkles when you bring down the window panes.

Getting drenched in heavy downpours,

The misty drizzles while running to the doors.

The simplest of experiences,

Has the power to liberate us from deep fears.

-Shwetha

Won't Cease

So,once I said

I’ll be the best.

Undefined it was.

But meant a lot.

Since then I’ve tried

Not willing to just abide.

Not knowing where to reach

But learning what to preach

It’s tough solving my own puzzle

Sometimes, I feel like I’m stuck in a muzzle.

Messy I may seem;

But quietly I clean

The dust on the ridges

And slowly cross all the bridges

The dream is distant;

Yet to be seized ….

But I’ve grown to know I won’t easily cease.

Thought for Clarity

Thought for clarity:

Found my soul hanging around.

Stalled my work and

Pondered on what's been troubling all along.

Blurred were the thoughts

Hard to root cause

One thing was sure -

There was trouble;

More than last time's double.

I jotted a plot

to trace the knots.

It was harder than I thought

But clearer became my faults.

It took quite some time

To realize the prime crime,

That was causing me to astray

From a timeline that was compromised by many a day.

At the end of this grueling exercise

I was able to define my problem in precise.

That was all that was needed

Clarity was to be seeded.