Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Loud Voices of Silence

There is complete silence in the exterior.
But the voices in my mind are so loud!
I can't focus on what I need to do.
I try hard to pull away, 
But it is a tug of war too strong for me to fray
I loathe my contradicting gray thoughts
That frame of mind filled with incessant thinking
That takes me nowhere.
I want to stop the wandering,
As much as I don't want to.
'Compartmentalize thoughts' many preach. 
I cannot even comprehend it sometimes.
So I turn to some calming music 
And force myself to begin work with the basic.
Maybe, I will succeed ..
Now that I am done writing this piece.

-Shwetha

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Which Part?

There is a difference when someone wants you to be a part of their life and when they want only a part of you in their life. 

Monday, October 13, 2014

Mirror Mirror make me Tall

Tall Mirrors - I loved. 
The way it made you feel when you look into it.
A complete reflection of who you are.

I was someone with confidence and displayed it without trying to.
I was made aware by others that I possessed it and I embraced it at ease.

As I now stare at my mirror not looking straight into it, I think back on why I got this custom made 5 foot mirror.
There was a reason that I loved it - a reason I had forgotten.
I was never afraid to see myself the way I was.
But lately I have shied myself from the mirror.
I lost my confidence by merely believing that I don't have it.
I was harsh on myself emotionally, believing I am far from perfect.
I had distanced myself from the beautiful mirror that once made me smile
I had forgotten that I had to see through my soul too and not just others'
After all, I did believe that if you didn't love yourself you couldn't love the world.


So I stood up and looked at the mirror.
All I had to do was to dust it along with my mind.

- Shwetha

Friday, September 5, 2014

Practise being Positive

Everyone feels low at some point or the other but it is no reason to let them dominate. Negative thoughts are cultivated, it grows if you let it grow.  Same goes for being positive and happy. Practise smiling, practise bouncing back when you feel low. Start practising this for the very smallest of falls. This will help strengthen your power to be resilient. It won't be too long before it becomes a matter of habit. Soon you will want to laugh when you feel low for too long, because its just not you to be so. Such is the power of the mind.


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Rumbles of a Searching Soul

"I've been lying like this for days. Oh, I just want to sit up now. Not just be awake - I want to feel. I want to feel the fresh air from the morning. I want to feel the chaos of the street, the unpleasant traffic. I want to have a plan for the day. I want to get going. I want to be charming.

But I'm here.. Still lying,  drowning. I can hardly open my eyes, I see some light flashing through my lashes, is it the afternoon sun? or twilight? It seems like lightning on a dark sky. It is … I can hear the thunders and my heart beat along … I was never scared of the thunders, even as a kid. Why am I scared now?  I want to break the shackles I feel, I want to fly … like the time I felt cold air beat my cheeks when I jumped off the plane. I was happy, I was falling free and I hadn't felt anything like it. I was high, I wasn't afraid, there was nothing pulling me down other than gravity. But now I cannot get myself to walk - something I've known more than to fly.

I still want to go out there you know – my heart wants to do things of the unknown. I have always liked the normal milestones of life – enjoying high school, being a good student; a good daughter; a great friend, wanting to fall in love; to marry; to have two kids. But a big part of me also wants to break free - more often than usual. I want to be out somewhere, to feel challenged to my guts, to experience anxiety I've never known, to have a smile amidst all the uncertainties because I know it’s going to be good. I want to feel that. Live that. Once!

I want to step out from the mundane. I want to quit from all the known. I want to jump off to a path that I can’t explain to myself why I took. I want to find out at the end that it was just the best thing I ever did. I want to be the ‘me’ that I've still not become. I want to set myself free."

-Shwetha

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The cobwebs of life

Stuck in the cobwebs
I can't get myself out
I flounce and escape one thread
But another many i spawn
I can break it all if i must
But i can't gather the force to thrust.
The strings pull me down, the clinging hurts in pain.
The web that i very hopefully spun is now stifling me, all in vain

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Sunken and Stranded

Myriad things i want to do
Spontaneous i want to be
But not at the cost of what 
I am trying hard to not be

They say I'm living my life great
But I fear a future with regrets.
There is still no grip of 
What i really want to perfect

I feel like I'm trying
But i can't quantify any.
I know my Achilles heel 
That's killing my zeal

I am embarrassed to admit 
I've not progressed one bit
A fulfilling life i seem to dilineate
But deep inside I'm insecure and diffident.

I want to change this now 
But I'm still feared by the 'but how's'
I want this haunted feeling to end 
For too long now I've been feeling 
Sunken and stranded.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Ego - Balancing the 'I'

Sometime back, I put together a presentation on Ego to share with my team during staff, just as something that we could discuss other than our work deliverable, but an important topic for a healthy work life. Below is what I had put together. Hope you find it valuable!

EGO: What is this 3 letter word that is thrown on us at many instances of our lives?
The Dictionary defines EGO as ‘the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

So do we have Nil Ego!?
                - The theory of moderation plays its role again. Like anything in life that aligns with ‘too much is too bad’, Ego too has its limits and the line between good and bad ego is hardly defined - making it easier for you to be blind.
                - The ‘Healthy Ego’ is vital to motivate you and to accomplish higher goals; Ego is what drives you higher. But if abused and not controlled, it could topple you down the hill!

Small actions that aid in a long term cure for balancing your ego:
·         Don’t be Prejudiced:
                - When you are prejudiced what people tell you fall on deaf ears. Your mind is listening, but you reject what you don’t want to hear.
                - Have an open mind. Hear out from others. Explain your views in response instead of in contrary. This way you will learn more and be admired more.
                                  “Hard to follow, Easier just said.
             The bigger person you are -  When you aren’t biased.”

·         Give yourself credits. But humble yourself more often:
                                - This helps you remember that you’re lucky to be where you are and that there are people in more trying situations working through much more troubles. Humbling yourself makes you grateful; and sure helps kill the ego.

Melt your ‘Self’ away: There was this quote by Mahatma Gandhi on the first page of my school textbooks that I remember clearly in spite of my rusty memory of the other pages in the books J I think of this whenever I feel low or when I want to feel more humbled. I hope it makes a mark for you too!

Gandhiji’s Talisman:
                "I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]. Will he [she] gain anything by it? Will it restore him [her] to a control over his [her] own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj [freedom] for the hungry and spiritually starving millions?
Then you will find your doubts and yourself melt away.”

Controlling the EGO:
Controlling your ego is like controlling a diet: When you go beyond your diet plan and eat that cake, it makes you feel high and happy for those few minutes but later you are filled with regret of wishing you had held back because now you have to exercise harder. Similarly when ego not controlled may become very hard to fix. In reality, much tougher than the extra mile you need to run for the cake you ate.

Ego haunts us everywhere. Why is it so much more significant at a workplace?
       The people around you are colleagues, not family: You may not be able to explain your emotional reasons behind an egoistic action. Your colleague may not care to comfort you or understand you and forget your act of ego.
       You may talk to people who you’ve never met earlier. A bad first impression might affect all future work with them.
       Non egoistic attitude makes working easier for you as you are more ready to approach for help, and also make yourself approachable to others. This creates a healthy work environment.
       You could be fired :P (Just kidding J)


Lead … not just You. Control the ego and lead others along.