Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The magic of painting!

The bristles of the brush
They feel like a magic wand.
The palette and tubes
Colorfully set to capture the hues.
Red, green, black, blue, white
And various shades from mixing them right.
A flower.  A tree. A man. A house.
The sky. The sea. The waves. The clouds.
I always used to paint in my mind.
But now I see them coming alive.
With therapeutic strokes,
One canvas at a time,
It's becoming an addiction,
And I want to forever feel this high -
The joy of bonding to what art is;
The happy smile from being called an artist.

-Shwetha

Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Loud Voices of Silence

There is complete silence in the exterior.
But the voices in my mind are so loud!
I can't focus on what I need to do.
I try hard to pull away, 
But it is a tug of war too strong for me to fray
I loathe my contradicting gray thoughts
That frame of mind filled with incessant thinking
That takes me nowhere.
I want to stop the wandering,
As much as I don't want to.
'Compartmentalize thoughts' many preach. 
I cannot even comprehend it sometimes.
So I turn to some calming music 
And force myself to begin work with the basic.
Maybe, I will succeed ..
Now that I am done writing this piece.

-Shwetha

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Which Part?

There is a difference when someone wants you to be a part of their life and when they want only a part of you in their life. 

Monday, October 13, 2014

Mirror Mirror make me Tall

Tall Mirrors - I loved. 
The way it made you feel when you look into it.
A complete reflection of who you are.

I was someone with confidence and displayed it without trying to.
I was made aware by others that I possessed it and I embraced it at ease.

As I now stare at my mirror not looking straight into it, I think back on why I got this custom made 5 foot mirror.
There was a reason that I loved it - a reason I had forgotten.
I was never afraid to see myself the way I was.
But lately I have shied myself from the mirror.
I lost my confidence by merely believing that I don't have it.
I was harsh on myself emotionally, believing I am far from perfect.
I had distanced myself from the beautiful mirror that once made me smile
I had forgotten that I had to see through my soul too and not just others'
After all, I did believe that if you didn't love yourself you couldn't love the world.


So I stood up and looked at the mirror.
All I had to do was to dust it along with my mind.

- Shwetha

Friday, September 5, 2014

Practise being Positive

Everyone feels low at some point or the other but it is no reason to let them dominate. Negative thoughts are cultivated, it grows if you let it grow.  Same goes for being positive and happy. Practise smiling, practise bouncing back when you feel low. Start practising this for the very smallest of falls. This will help strengthen your power to be resilient. It won't be too long before it becomes a matter of habit. Soon you will want to laugh when you feel low for too long, because its just not you to be so. Such is the power of the mind.


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Rumbles of a Searching Soul

"I've been lying like this for days. Oh, I just want to sit up now. Not just be awake - I want to feel. I want to feel the fresh air from the morning. I want to feel the chaos of the street, the unpleasant traffic. I want to have a plan for the day. I want to get going. I want to be charming.

But I'm here.. Still lying,  drowning. I can hardly open my eyes, I see some light flashing through my lashes, is it the afternoon sun? or twilight? It seems like lightning on a dark sky. It is … I can hear the thunders and my heart beat along … I was never scared of the thunders, even as a kid. Why am I scared now?  I want to break the shackles I feel, I want to fly … like the time I felt cold air beat my cheeks when I jumped off the plane. I was happy, I was falling free and I hadn't felt anything like it. I was high, I wasn't afraid, there was nothing pulling me down other than gravity. But now I cannot get myself to walk - something I've known more than to fly.

I still want to go out there you know – my heart wants to do things of the unknown. I have always liked the normal milestones of life – enjoying high school, being a good student; a good daughter; a great friend, wanting to fall in love; to marry; to have two kids. But a big part of me also wants to break free - more often than usual. I want to be out somewhere, to feel challenged to my guts, to experience anxiety I've never known, to have a smile amidst all the uncertainties because I know it’s going to be good. I want to feel that. Live that. Once!

I want to step out from the mundane. I want to quit from all the known. I want to jump off to a path that I can’t explain to myself why I took. I want to find out at the end that it was just the best thing I ever did. I want to be the ‘me’ that I've still not become. I want to set myself free."

-Shwetha

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The cobwebs of life

Stuck in the cobwebs
I can't get myself out
I flounce and escape one thread
But another many i spawn
I can break it all if i must
But i can't gather the force to thrust.
The strings pull me down, the clinging hurts in pain.
The web that i very hopefully spun is now stifling me, all in vain

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Sunken and Stranded

Myriad things i want to do
Spontaneous i want to be
But not at the cost of what 
I am trying hard to not be

They say I'm living my life great
But I fear a future with regrets.
There is still no grip of 
What i really want to perfect

I feel like I'm trying
But i can't quantify any.
I know my Achilles heel 
That's killing my zeal

I am embarrassed to admit 
I've not progressed one bit
A fulfilling life i seem to dilineate
But deep inside I'm insecure and diffident.

I want to change this now 
But I'm still feared by the 'but how's'
I want this haunted feeling to end 
For too long now I've been feeling 
Sunken and stranded.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Ego - Balancing the 'I'

Sometime back, I put together a presentation on Ego to share with my team during staff, just as something that we could discuss other than our work deliverable, but an important topic for a healthy work life. Below is what I had put together. Hope you find it valuable!

EGO: What is this 3 letter word that is thrown on us at many instances of our lives?
The Dictionary defines EGO as ‘the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

So do we have Nil Ego!?
                - The theory of moderation plays its role again. Like anything in life that aligns with ‘too much is too bad’, Ego too has its limits and the line between good and bad ego is hardly defined - making it easier for you to be blind.
                - The ‘Healthy Ego’ is vital to motivate you and to accomplish higher goals; Ego is what drives you higher. But if abused and not controlled, it could topple you down the hill!

Small actions that aid in a long term cure for balancing your ego:
·         Don’t be Prejudiced:
                - When you are prejudiced what people tell you fall on deaf ears. Your mind is listening, but you reject what you don’t want to hear.
                - Have an open mind. Hear out from others. Explain your views in response instead of in contrary. This way you will learn more and be admired more.
                                  “Hard to follow, Easier just said.
             The bigger person you are -  When you aren’t biased.”

·         Give yourself credits. But humble yourself more often:
                                - This helps you remember that you’re lucky to be where you are and that there are people in more trying situations working through much more troubles. Humbling yourself makes you grateful; and sure helps kill the ego.

Melt your ‘Self’ away: There was this quote by Mahatma Gandhi on the first page of my school textbooks that I remember clearly in spite of my rusty memory of the other pages in the books J I think of this whenever I feel low or when I want to feel more humbled. I hope it makes a mark for you too!

Gandhiji’s Talisman:
                "I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]. Will he [she] gain anything by it? Will it restore him [her] to a control over his [her] own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj [freedom] for the hungry and spiritually starving millions?
Then you will find your doubts and yourself melt away.”

Controlling the EGO:
Controlling your ego is like controlling a diet: When you go beyond your diet plan and eat that cake, it makes you feel high and happy for those few minutes but later you are filled with regret of wishing you had held back because now you have to exercise harder. Similarly when ego not controlled may become very hard to fix. In reality, much tougher than the extra mile you need to run for the cake you ate.

Ego haunts us everywhere. Why is it so much more significant at a workplace?
       The people around you are colleagues, not family: You may not be able to explain your emotional reasons behind an egoistic action. Your colleague may not care to comfort you or understand you and forget your act of ego.
       You may talk to people who you’ve never met earlier. A bad first impression might affect all future work with them.
       Non egoistic attitude makes working easier for you as you are more ready to approach for help, and also make yourself approachable to others. This creates a healthy work environment.
       You could be fired :P (Just kidding J)


Lead … not just You. Control the ego and lead others along.

Monday, December 2, 2013

My Peripa

Let me tell you something about my Uncle I treasure as a human being.
He is in a critical state, lying in the hospital bed, opposite to the characteristics he usually possesses.
He was always an active man – he had the smile that would make you believe things were supposed to be happy. He had the temper and discipline that made you not stray. He had the warmth that you look forward to in a friend. He had the patience and love that made him the best husband any woman could ever have. He was an exceptional father to the kids and loved them to bits. Above all, he was a great person – he loved life, he had vast knowledge, umpteen memories, many acts of kindness, he was exemplary of being there for his loved ones. 
He was full of laughter and fun – every time I think of the happiest memory with him, I think of the loud song he used to sing waking me up when I stayed at Singapore with my cousins, aunt and him. And the jokes – he cracked me up with his jokes though sometimes I used to call him the PJ master for the Poor Jokes. He loved history, literature, sports, finance, everything! I can’t think of a topic that didn’t interest him or that he didn’t know about. He was outstanding.
He loved his work way too much at his age. I wish he didn’t … I regret that I had been stronger with my talks to him that he should get home sooner after work and take care of his health and stress levels. I wish I did … maybe that would have saved him from that horrid night that led him to this state.
Today he is lying down with no response to life basing his life on machines that give some hope, while we cry torn with this state of seeing him suffer and to have to make the hardest decision that will ever be.
Many miles away from Singapore, in India, I have been crying for many hours now, reliving every memory of him in my life, and worrying the struggle my dear cousins and aunt are going through since last ten days.
I have talked aloud to him in my empty room begging him to wake up now, hoping for one miraculous moment to happen , praying to God to give him 1 millionth of his usual energy to just be alive again …
This is not how we wanted you take off and relax Peripa … Please breathe again, don’t leave us like this. Give us a chance to take care of you. Come back home. I miss your facebook updates, I miss your silly PJs, I miss your warmth and laughter, I miss you more than ever.

My requests to Peripa continue to be asked – ‘please wake up’ ..
My prayers and love go on for my Aunt and cousins – who have been way too strong till now. I love you guys, and you mean a lot more to me than you will ever know.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.
-        Anonymous
With desperate prayers to not have to let you go,
With much Love.

Two days later, on Monday, the 4th of December 2013, Peripa passed away. He will be remembered for the amazing person that he was, and for us - the family, things will never be the same again without him... I love you Peripa ...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The 'Do not Litter' Preach

I contribute to a cleaner environment by calling out to friends/strangers who litter on roads/buses and condemn them. These are mostly 'educated' people. Every time I get out, there is at least once I end up doing this. Some people answer in arrogance and my argument with them is bitter; some answer in shame and hesitate to accept their mistake and I tell them nicely to remember to be aware and not do this from next time and they don't deny, the conversation ends pleasant. Either way leaves me with a sense of accomplishment because it matters. We need this. We need people to be wary of the aftermath that's created by what seems like a trivial unruly behavior. What's sad is that a large part of even younger generation exposed to the way the rest of the world works does not realize the significance. What started for me years ago as a conscious effort to help people litter less , is now an imbibed behavior. Even the thought of throwing a small piece of paper on roads or pavements makes me guilty.
                                         My friend, do You litter ???
If you resonate with my thoughts on importance of a litter free country, please spread the awareness, assume responsibility and encourage people to use dustbins, suggest them to save the trash in hand or a bag pocket until they find a dustbin. If possible, find a dustbin in front of them and throw out the paper they threw if they don't correct their act. Change starts with us. Practice and preach is the need of the hour.  
Let's not be a part of what largely describes Indians today:

Words for losses

These are some words from an old article i wrote that I believe help in soothing the pain at times of loss - 'Things that you love are not always the things that stay with you forever. But they are those that remind you of good times, a hope for living, and the cheer of life. They let you know that you've been lucky to have them, experience them and make them a part of your life. As much as it’s hard it makes us peaceful to try to live with the memories in all its positivity’s and move on. After all, the Joy of Life is in looking forward to happier days, lovelier moments.'

When we are faced with horrid situations like deaths of loved ones, we have only two things to choose to do further on ... one is to be doomed and spoil our peace, and spread that negativity to everything and everyone around, breaking our life's prior goals OR to accept the bad that happened and feel unfair - we are human and i can imagine how hard it must be - but still try to work on other things that will make peace for us and the rest of our loved ones and help us move on. This act doesn't make us cold-hearted but the sadness and strength we grow within to overcome the pain makes us warm, considerate and stronger.

  
 There is no loss like the loss of loved ones and that's the lesson and purpose from such a situation. You need to re purpose your life at such tough situations. Realize the significance of your dear ones, and work for the rest of such dear ones in your life. Pray for the soul to rest in peace and live for their wishes. What would they like for you to do? Would they want to see you happy? Live to live the life they would have loved to. That's the best tribute you can pay. Harder said than done, but its important for you to gather the strength.

 I pray for all of you in such hard times and wish you the best to move on strong.


A poem - http://thethoughtsofthestar.blogspot.in/2013/10/pray-for-bereaved_18.html

Friday, October 18, 2013

Pray for the bereaved

The demise of an unknown soul
Makes me cry for days so many
A young heart with dreams and desires
Plucked out of life, suddenly with no closure
My thoughts go out to the friends and family
And my talks go on to the supposed almighty
My belief and hope tend to fluctuate rapidly
I gather myself and remember there is only one way to harmony.
So I decide to pray
For more than light from a single ray
I pray for peace and
A world with no disease
I pray to whoever is the Lord;
I pray very hard.
For I want to believe -
When the sun rises
And the birds are flying -
There is no one in the world, bereaved and crying.

-Shwetha

Thursday, September 5, 2013

With time?

Worries they say, fall with time.
But what if they grow sharper like the spikes in a porcupine?
Prayers they say, make everything fine.
But what if god never heard me ring the chime?
Hurt they say heals with soothing words. 
But what if there's no one to hear my outbursts?
Pains they say alleviate with every passing day. 
But what if I don't ever find the right way?
Trying times they say are close to change. 
But what if it’s all, for bad karma that we are paying?

- Shwetha

If these words makes you think 'what a killjoy', I'll remind you again I am a believer of Hope. There is no light without darkness. And there is no enlightment without confusion. Feelings like above that crop up within us are the reason why I wrote this article: www.thethoughtsofthestar.blogspot.in/2013/09/overcome-that-you-can-overcome.html
One learns to be an optimist, only when he has had the chance to be a pessimist but fights, isn't it? 

Monday, September 2, 2013

Overcome that you can Overcome


Sometimes the hardest thing is, not to feel hopeful when you are feeling low; but to not condemn yourself for feeling that hopeful.


We doubt what's wrong with us for not feeling bad; for not feeling guilty when things go wrong; wonder why aren't there tears …  I think most of us are ‘addicted’ to self-pity and find it comforting to tell ourselves 'why is this is happening to me'. So even though good books read to us that we have the power to outcome fears, even though beautifully written songs inspire us to become hopeful, when it actually comes down to feeling positive, hopeful and strong in a situation, a part of us wonders if we've become cold. A scare creeps in if we are being ignorant by not wallowing in the problem. We push ourselves to be sad again because even though we can be strong, we wonder if we are being emotionless.


This is where we need more learning. There is only our own self who can permit happiness within. You have to allow yourself to be strong before you can become strong. You have to let yourself stay positive even though it’s easy to be torn. You have to let yourself be happy even though there is sadness within. You have to let yourself portray happiness in the world even though thoughts may haunt of the world around judging you for being happy when things are down under. You have to do this for YOUR peace of mind; because, Happiness is not a crime; because sadness is not forever; because happiness is a state of mind - not complete absence of sadness; because you can overcome sadness with happiness. And for that to last, you have to ‘overcome that you can overcome your deepest fears’.


- To happiness and peace,


Friday, August 23, 2013

The few in your Life

There are few people in your life;
Who will support through all that you strive.
They won't laugh when you fall. Instead,
They smile and lift you up tall.
They make your trials seem worthy
And guide you how finer you can be.
Critical may be their suggestions
But they only have the right intentions.
The day you win and the world celebrates,
They will rejoice with a silent embrace.

-Shwetha

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Happily Ever After - Is it overrated or do we understand it wrong?

Today I read a thought provoking article... 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2385475/Dina-Goldsteins-Fallen-Princesses-shows-Disneys-Snow-White-Cinderella-unhappily-after.html


'Happily ever after' as in fairy tales is debatable in real life. You can Hope , but you need to be realistic about what you truly need, to be happy in life. 'Cuz what you thought at your teens is going to be the life ahead, may not be the life you later live, but you get led on to new experiences involving unexpected failures and worked hard for successes. You mature naturally to learn to appreciate them. But some may not - my sincere hope for them is to realize this and live life as it comes. This article may help in the realization.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Rain down upon me …

The rain draws a magic
That can't be explained with any logic
As I watch from inside the bus,
The flow of rain water on the large windows,
I find my heart sinking,
Or is it a deep breath that comes prior to a relieving sigh?
I find solace, from a sadness that I wasn't aware existed within me.
A reassuring thought strikes that
the simple joys are the ones that put on a real smile.
But what was I worrying about? I just can’t compile.
That’s the charm of the rain
Just as wondrous, time and again.
The splashes from a walk on a path that’s not drained,
The sprinkles when you bring down the window panes.
Getting drenched in heavy downpours,
The misty drizzles while running to the doors.
The simplest of experiences,
Has the power to liberate us from deep fears.

-Shwetha

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Won't Cease


So,once I said
I’ll be the best.
Undefined it was.
But meant a lot.
Since then I’ve tried
Not willing to just abide.
Not knowing where to reach
But learning what to preach
It’s tough solving my own puzzle
Sometimes, I feel like I’m stuck in a muzzle.
Messy I may seem;
But quietly I clean
The dust on the ridges
And slowly cross all the bridges
The dream is distant;
Yet to be seized ….
But I’ve grown to know I won’t easily cease.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Thought for Clarity


Thought for clarity:
Found my soul hanging around.
Stalled my work and
Pondered on what's been troubling all along.
Blurred were the thoughts
Hard to root cause
One thing was sure -
There was trouble;
More than last time's double.
I jotted a plot
to trace the knots.
It was harder than I thought
But clearer became my faults.
It took quite some time
To realize the prime crime,
That was causing me to astray
From a timeline that was compromised by many a day.
At the end of this grueling exercise
I was able to define my problem in precise.
That was all that was needed
Clarity was to be seeded.